Every time I felt that loses control
patient has to say the first number from 1 to 100
what comes to mind.
After a short interval
to utter another number,
less than the previous.
What would you say, Mr. President?
People really like you. You cannot ask for anything more than that.
That's exactly why I'm concerned. Our potential seems to be obscured.
From here I could only go down.
I need an explanation... Tell me why every time I try to do something
for this country, some crocks have to screw things up?
They are always holding you back when you try to do something useful.
These people are complete crocks.
What do you think you are doing?
Can't you see I'm busy?
- I'm going to leave. - You're busy with yourself as usual.
I'm not one for hanging around in your shadow.
Because I'm fighting for eternal dignity.
Please stop with this circus.
Think of how much I spent on Vienna.
Yes, but I had a dinner with the Habsburg. Right?
You have no idea how important these contacts are.
You can't buy prestige cheaply. You just can't.
"We are hungry. We are hungry."
Look what I have to bear with!
Human emotions are like earthquakes -
can be arranged on a scale from 1 to 100
depending on their intensity.
Each time the number decreased,
so, until it reaches zero.
At this point emotion is completely controlled
and the patient recovered his mental balance.
I want Varadin to go there. He can do it.
Varadin has to go to London.
13.
It was Thursday. Like any other...
The duty-free shop in the embassy was opened from 10 to 12am, as usual...
For trusted customers only.
Despite the negative stories, it was just a form of mutual assistance
in the spirit of best corporate traditions.
The turnover of the duty-free shop came to £12,545
for the first six months of the year.
This would be mainly by selling rakia, beer and cigarettes
from the diplomatic quota which was rather hard to acquire.
In the meantime, Sir Dee Garber - chairman of the National Defense Commission,
had found some disturbing figures in the budget.
This led to a further four-year delay of strategic European project
for a combat jet, named "Eurofighter".
The deficit amount was... £12,545.
This money wasn't so big of an issue,
but the bad tendency that could lead to undesirable consequences.
Counsellor Mavrodiev have also found
some serious loopholes in the budget of his business establishment.
Piss off.
You have debts to pay off first.
- Come on, I'll pay you tomorrow. - I'm really tired of actors.
But unlike the chairman of NDA, the Counsellor had a very
clear idea of where that deficit came from.
This led to a further four-month delay
in the purchase of new vacuum cleaner.
I'm begging you, just one pack? I'm shooting an advertisement on Tuesday.
We are fellow Bulgarians. We need to help each other.
Yes, we are. But only after you pay.
How much? - "How much?"
Wait a minute. I'm not a calculator. Calm down.
While the Counsellor was trying to reduce the commercial deficit,
the small and committed team at the embassy was enjoying
the last moments of the sheer anarchy in the last few months.
The squabbles between the employees were almost absent.
An untypical spirit of friendliness and unity could be felt among people.
Everyone had their piece of happiness.
They also had one common trait -
There was no boss.
Do you know what I heard about the new Embassador?
Well... president's wife was soliciting for his appointment here.
Next, please.
Five packs of cigarettes, a box of rakia and four packs of beer.
Are you guys preparing for a deluge to come?
Just in case if the new Embassador decides to close the duty-free.
We've been waiting for him for six months.
What's the problem with the duty-free?
Five of everything!
Is this the so-called "duty-free"?
I don't want to scare you, but I think the new one is coming today.
We just received a telegram.
Hello?
OK, I'll wake her up now.
Katia?
Hey, Katia? Wake up!
Katia?
The secretary is looking for you urgently. The Embassador has
arrived so they need you to clean the cabinet.
Can you take my shift?
You're hanging around all night and then you want me to do your job?!
It's in your area. Come on, get up.
Every time I felt that loses control
patient has to say the first number from 1 to 100
what comes to mind.
77.
After a short interval
to utter another number, less than the previous one.
65.
So, until it reaches zero.
At this point emotion is completely controlled.
90.
Oh, you scared me.
I'm here to clean up.
You don't look like cleaner.
I'm a student. Just helping here.
I think that even a month wouldn't be enough to clean up this...
warehouse.
I clean wherever they say. There hasn't been anyone here
for six months and..., by the way, while we use this banger,
it would never be clean.
Pardon?
The vacuum cleaner is rubbish. It's like thousand years old.
Well,...
Katia.
Katia...
Why don't you write a report?
Describe the problem and I'll give my best to solve it.
You can go.
I don't want you to clean during working hours or while I'm absent.
Embassador Dimitrov.
You are already at work?
Well done.
You haven't forgotten me, have you? - How could I.
I feel that someone in that embassy is ruining my reputation on purpose.
What do I want so much?
It's not like I'm doing it for myself.
What kind of people are these...
Look... I have just arrived and...
You all say the same. I hope you're different.
Listen to me, Varadin.
It's not so important when you've arrived.
It's important when you leave.
Hey, Pasty!
Yeah, yeah...
Actor boy... I brought the stock.
Stock has arrived. Come on.
I have bad news.
I think they're going to close down the Duty.
Leave it. Let them close it. I don't care.
So from where are we going to buy stock? - Don't worry.
I have something in mind.
However,... I need a warehouse.
It's going to be a big hit.
What kind of warehouse?
If you are thinking about the embassy, leave it.
You saw the new one. He's nuts.
I don't think he's going to rummage through the kitchen.
Who knows? He came without warning. He's nuts, I'm telling you.
Bye, girls!
Still late? You owe me 20 pounds.
Get out!
Is that why you dragged me in this hole, Munro?
It is!
Looking it from two months.
I do not know it is .. too dark.
See jaw. Typical British mare.
This is for my bill.
This is the Duck. The big boss.
Everything goes through him.
R U S S I A
Who's this?
This is Kosta. He's our man.
He lives in the embassy.
If you're thinking something about the embassy, you better find some other place.
Don't screw it, conhead. I've guaranteed for you.
What's up?
Everything is fine.
Hi, girls!
Excuse me, young lady, Can you talk a little?
Katie?
How do you know my name? - Examine the club.
Always do preliminary study.
Do not worry, I'm not a maniac. - Everyone says so.
My intentions are entirely professional. I am a producer
and have a role that you might like.
Long arm of the porn industry?
Nothing like that.
Producing event. Small but very well paid.
If they are interested in your welcome to audition.
Just call.
Good morning.
I'm glad you're on time.
Come on.
Good morning. Am I late?
I'm sorry. I'll clean it.
Leave it.
I have to announce something unpleasant.
Sofia thinks that it's an anarchy situation out here.
Your local self-government had
led to some unusual initiatives.
Mr. Mavrodiev, I'll ask you to hand me over the inventory
of the so-called "duty-free".
We were thinking about buying presents...
For the kids... For Christmas.
That's alright... But Christmas is far away.
The funds will be allocated by me.
Moreover, the embassy is not active enough in building
of the new image of Bulgaria.
We lack high-level contacts.
What's happening with Mrs. Selianska's initiative?
We're working on the matter.
Then why it's been cancelled twice?
We're still unable to arrange a royal family presence for it.
Pardon?
I've sent ten emails to Buckingham Palace, but...
And what?
Well, look, I'm corresponding with one very polite lady
but she obviously doesn't deliver everything to the Queen.
You know, a typical secretary.
So we've been rejected.
Exactly. We have some communication. We keep in touch...
Bunchev! You're not allowed
to send any emails anymore.
From now on, I'm dealing with that.
Okay.
As you know,
the European Conference is about to open soon.
The President and members of
the parliament are going to attend it.
I'm warning you...
I'm not going to tolerate any blunders.
The windows are not clean.
funding programs EU defense
will be closely monitored.
Commission will require reports for 6 months ...
Any progress with that matter?
With the Queen?
My wife has some pretty big expectations for that reception.
Working on it.
We were a bit busy with this conference.
But I have to warn you that it's going to be pretty expensive.
You know my wife. When she has something in mind...
Try to find whoever she wants. Just to get her calm down.
Money is not a matter.
It can not pass, sorry.
I'm from the Bulgarian Embassy. Needs to take that speech the president.
Get someone to take her. Stand back, please!
My phone battery is low.
Would you sent for a the Bulgarian delegation?
Sorry I can not. I'm busy.
Sorry ...
Stand back, sir!
Sorry ...
A Romania? Bulgaria.
This is the speech of our president. Please it is very important!
Give it to Mr. Mavrodiev, the Bulgarian delegation.
No problem! Mavrodiev? - Bulgarian Embassy delegation ...
Many thanks!
Is my speech ready?
The speech? - What?
The speech?
I'll check it out.
Where is it? - I gave it.
Whom? - One polite Romanian.
What Romanian? Who is he?
- Well, from the Romanian... - What is his name?
You don't know?! Are you out of your mind?!
Ladies and Gentlemen, President of Bulgaria
will begin his speech after 1 0 minutes.
He gave it to someone from the Romanian embassy.
- What's that? - The speech.
Some very polite man.
- Who did it? - Punchev.
Twenty minutes ago.
Freaks.
They may bring it.
They may?! The President's speech is in ten minutes.
Don't worry. We'll find it.
We always do.
59.
Ladies and Gentlemen, President of Bulgaria
will begin his speech after 5 minutes.
100.
Can I help you? Looking for something?
No need, thanks.
Your Excellency ... Sorry!
Your Excellency? Dean Carver.
I think you have something.
You will not believe where I found it. - Many thanks!
Perfect!
What is this? Does not look like anything!
I saved the best for last!
My darlings!
Silly girl. I do not understand.
Men will be insane!
Sick bastard!
Brings them alone!
Wanker!
Bitch!
Fired! I do not want to see you!
Do you think my speech was well received?
Mr. President.
Your wife. It's urgent.
I can't speak now.
No, no, no. It wouldn't be a problem.
He's with me now. I have to go.
Mrs. Selianska relies very much on you, you should know that.
Mr. Carver!
Your Excellency!
Cheers!
There is no way to express gratitude.
Please, no nothing!
You know, all day I wonder ...
Who has forgotten Speech of President you ...
... In the toilet?
Hello? Mr. Munro?
Do not know if you remember me. Hi, this is Katie from the club Baileys.
Yes ... I was invited to audition.
Now?
In Hotel Russell "?
Yes. Until recently.
Spend more time here than at home.
Or in parliament with them kreslyovtsi.
Good evening, sir. - Good evening.
Go!
Glad to see you, baby.
Sorry, I think that was a mistake to come.
No! Wait a minute.
You can go if you want.
But why not leave for one hour in the magic hands of Barry
and he will change completely.
Barry is a makeup artist at the Royal Shakespeare Theatre.
This is a set of transformations.
We create illusions.
You came here as a simple girl
but it will go ... - As a princess!
Just close your eyes and let the magic of Barry.
Cheers, Your Excellency!
The success of your mission!
The last time I was in Bulgaria in 70 years.
I'll release it a secret.
One time was not too bad.
Your old leaders may not have style
but had scale. Real barons!
Lead me to hunt. You know you're a hunter?
Frankly, I prefer golf.
Dear My Golf may be a mod,
but real, solid and lasting relationships are created during the hunt.
If goals high ...
walk hunting.
I think that might happen.
This is not me ...
Absolutely, Barry! Bravo!
Yes?
Excuse me, what documents I need a Bulgarian visa?
What kind of visa do you want so late, you cunt!
Did it occur to you now?
You rule, Pasty.
The stock is over here.
Look, boys...
What if something bad happens?
I think I'm out of this.
It's too late, Pasty.
You're out of time.
It's working fine.
Take this, you fool.
I told you it'd be a big hit.
The Chinese will get them for £30 each.
Are they alive?
Well... I overdosed them with diaseptyl.
They are falling like flies. Just like flies.
Who was the one who came up with the idea of diaseptyl, huh?
I remember one small type with a huge rifle.
Kubadinski, exactly.
Very special quiz.
Shoot a wild boar and then roasted on a spit ...
I recently had dinner with Prince Charles. Such boredom!
Do you know the royal family?
My PR agency takes care of that.
You'm a Republican at heart.
But ...
After dinner my rating jumped to the ceiling.
What's this agency?
Champagne, Your Highness?
Roe, Your Highness?
No thanks.
Your Highness ...
... Would you be put off?
Why do not you go fuck yourself, perverts!
Bravo! A princess would have done exactly that.
Please?
Princess did not take off my clothes once clicked her fingers.
Born for this role. Welcome to Famous Kanekshans.
I just work my first check, baby.
Here I have their card somewhere.
Let us help you.
You read me ... I think I've forgotten my glasses.
"Uesting House?
Goldman Sachs & B?
"Famous Kanekshans ...
"Famous Kanekshans?
Yes, these people ...
You can arrange ...
anyone you want.
Do not worry, sir. He is like home here. Will be taken care of.
What? Come on.
Fuck that. What do you want me to do now? To butcher them?
- This is on your part. - No, I'm on duty.
Someone may come here and we're fucked.
Okay, then... I'll do it.
Chavo, wait. It's not so simple.
You go to the duty room.
If you see someone coming, give us a yell.
- Stop looking them, man. Go on. - Yeah, yeah.
I was just wondering is this that pretty lady with the vacuum cleaner.
So I'm "the lady with the vacuum cleaner"?
I'm sorry. You disappeared, Katia?
You told me to go only when you're not there.
Is that what I said?
Anyway... Where are you heading to at this time?
I'm waiting for the bus.
Let's walk? It's not far, I'll accompany you.
I thought you were taking a taxi.
A little bit of fresh air will be good for me.
Catch it!
Door! Close the door!
It turns out it's not that close.
Distances in London are very tricky.
What a strange day for me...
Started so terribly and then...
Everything got to normal.
My day also started miserably, I'm now dining with the Embassador.
I'm sorry I'm not able to offer you
something better at this time.
I'm cool. There's nothing better than a cheesecake at midnight.
By the way, it's great that you closed down the duty-free.
Finally, a principal decision but they are just not able to get over it.
Actually, what do you study?
At Laban Dancing Centre. Contemporary ballet.
Excuse me.
I wouldn't...
Don't...
That's right.
So... you clean the embassy in exchange for not paying a rent?
I wouldn't say it's that bad offer.
Nevertheless, I live in Kensington.
If you find a job as a dancer, you would be able to live in Kensington.
This one is not bad.
Yes?
We've got a problem. The Embassador is here.
We're completely fucked now.
Fucking idiot!
Well...
We'll see each other at the reception on Friday.
Thank you for accompanying me.
What about the new vacuum cleaner?
Yes, for that as well.
Yes?
It's clean.
Come on. Not much left.
Come on, Pasty. Stop fooling around.
How long should I wait? The day almost broke.
What happened here?
It's time to go.
You are what exactly?
I am from Royal ornithological institute.
Study the behavioral patterns in ducks.
And when we noticed their absence?
Yesterday. Immediately organized search, but gone nowhere.
You can not restrict them, they fly, but usually do not leave the park.
And yesterday they were not even locater!
Locator?
Nine ducks have implanted chips.
Our radar can detect them within a radius of ... 5 miles.
Interesting.
Channel?
So this embassador is very interesting.
Stop it. I bought that.
I'm wondering... If you can afford these things, why
are you still here?
You are taking the place of someone who really needs it.
You're not even a student.
Don't worry. I will be out of this hole soon.
Good evening.
The Macedonians in Bulgaria
should fight even more for their rights -
democratic and human rights.
Pasty?
Thank you.
It's not like a cheesecake, but still tasty.
The pasty is not bad.
As a matter of fact, don't you think that pasty is one of
these things which are evidence for the common origin of our nations?
I remember ... You're very kind.
Excuse me.
Ulaf - Major stock Army of Her Majesty!
I am here as president of the charity fund OSRAN.
Mr. Puychev - young hope our diplomacy.
Extremely responsible young man. He will take care of you.
Please forgive me.
"Galileo", a line you?
Base 3 and 4 do not hang!
We start monitoring ... now.
This is absurd!
You will not believe what I was looking for -
yellow submarines, ships, aircraft ... But ducks!
We will not tolerate mockery!
Ducks are a key element of biological equilibrium.
You know, for example, that they control population of worms?
Sir Dean Carver!
What a pleasant surprise! - What are you doing here?
Personally, HE invited me and as far as I know
you are the reason interesting about this contact.
I do not know how it happened ... Only invited him to the club.
And you're plastered. - I'm not kneading it!
Privacy! You can count on me!
Mr. Carver, so glad to see you again!
Your Excellency? Nice to meet you!
Robert Zibling - Famous Kanekshans.
Mr. Zibling, finally!
So glad that we are honored with your presence.
Explosion of worms that is waiting for us!
Shut up and eat that keyed me, Dale! I'm sick of you. Eat something.
PEKING DUCK - is super!
You flat humor, detective.
I wonder, Dale, what this duck is different from yours?
Why nobody is looking? Or is not part of the balance?
I can not answer for all ducks in the world.
But these, as we well know,
accidentally property Her Majesty!
Thinking about you, but ...
we eat ducks
ducks eat worms and the worms eat us.
Here's your complete biological balance!
Nothing is impossible. We have contacts in all spheres.
Just say who.
Her Majesty.
Her Majesty?
Interesting choice.
We often work with the palace.
Tell me how you imagine it? Where, for example?
Here.
Here?
Yes. Organize-show reception.
Collage of the greatest moments in Bulgarian history.
Something like a parade the ancient rulers.
Yes, I can imagine.
And Her Majesty?
What major sublimation!
Mr. Carver warned me about your rates. - I am confident will agree.
My fear is that these sandwiches prove how much you have to catch up with Europe.
I'm not a snob, but in terms of sandwiches,
in this country a sacred standards.
Long live the revolution!
Revolution ... over!
I am - Kate.
Your Majesty! Is not the wounds of gin?
Crinkle!
Mr. Embassador, as you requested, I made a small research.
I accidentally found a website and examined some of the stuff.
- Banicharov. - Please?
Well done.
Get this gin!
We met in an unusual place.
Admit I was surprised to see you there.
A personal question - what made at the Bulgarian Embassy?
Actually, I live there. And sometimes help receptions.
You know the ambassador?
Is your customer?
How would you react, if they ask to iznesesh there?
Why is there a problem?
So far - no.
Get this gin!
Guys!
I think I found them!
What's up, Racho?
Open it.
Why, Racho? It's empty.
Open it.
Why don't we have some rakia, huh?
Stop fooling me. Open it.
Empty, huh?
Where did these come from?
- From the market. - The market, huh?
Give me a knife.
I will.
Kenzingtan? Are you sure?
The signal is clear, sir.
What's going on here?
Where did these come from? Banicharov?
- He's in a deep trouble. - Where did you get them from?
Some friends left them in the freezer just for a couple of days.
Just a good deal.
How could I know about the microphones in their assholes?!
I told you not to deal with that scum Chavo.
I know.
What are we doing now? They'll send us back in Sofia.
Racho, please think of something.
We have to get rid of them right now.
Let's break them, huh?
Get out of here with this thing.
Give me some bread.
- What? - Bread.
I will.
Stirred up.
Where?
At Hyde Park. - So you are alive!
Come on. Here. Eat it.
This is not a chicken, Banicharov.
Come on, let's go.
Calm down.
Like the old times. Just watch now.
We got another one, sir.
Stop! Stop!
What are you doing? I am the director of the park! Stop immediately!
Who runs this disgrace?
Detective Koluey.
Investigating the disappearance of ducks from Richmond Park.
Ducks from Richmond Park? Do not have turned into swans?
We found another chip. - To keep this a swan?
I will keep you!
Police are still can not find
50 ducks mysteriously disappeared from Richmond Park.
According to well-informed source,
today's incident in Hyde Park was heading the investigation into a new,
exotic direction. There are serious evidence that ducks from Richmond Park
were brutally eaten of swans in Hyde Park.
If the theory is confirmed, will see
of extreme bird cannibalism.
Monsters with beaks may soon conquer us.
Bitch!
Hello? Mr. Embassador.
You've a meeting with Mr. Thomas Murrow from Famous Connections.
I admit I did not expect to respond so quickly.
I am impressed by your efficiency.
The timing of the Queen is clearly overloaded. - Do not worry, this is our concern.
Let's talk about your fantasy.
Please?
This parade of rulers. How are you imagine the role of Her Majesty?
Her presence will be enough.
Her Majesty will put the event in all other contexts.
Exactly. I like your ... intellectual approach.
If we have to be precise, this is an initiative the wife of our president.
Clearly, the First Lady! Super!
She has experience with such events.
Already doing such things Vienna, Stockholm, Toronto ...
But London has London, right?
Friend, you got very far.
Too far, I'd say ...
Hope event receive wide publicity.
What wide publicity?
You know - if there is no news, no event.
I see.
Do you have sugar?
You escaped to London, but we've found you.
Azis Nikolayevich must disappear!
What's up?
- The Duck has been killed. - What?
They killed him. Just round the corner.
Just few moments ago.
So what about the ducks?
Leave the ducks. This is the Russian mafia.
Do you know that we found tracking transmitters in the ducks?
Fuck.
It must be KGB then.
Pasty... We must get rid of these ducks.
Now way. I got through so much. We can't do that.
What happened with the Chinese?
The Duck was dealing with it.
Anyway... I know some Serbians.
- Our men. - Serbians?
Are they going to make pljeskavica of them?
Power to the people!
Get gin!
Yes, come!
So how did it go?
Quite strange.
You know, Thomas, I had not met a guy like him before.
This guy goes around the edge. Can you imagine -
will risk money the state budget.
At first I thought that excites the symbols of power
but began to babble for wide publicity, I flashed
what happens actually.
He is convinced that he will bring it the real Queen Elizabeth.
My God!
Now I understand why talk so strange.
These are indeed damaged. No taboos after the fall of the Berlin Wall.
Where did he take this fucking idea?
From Carver fucking! Napier has and god knows what it is they conspired.
Carver fucking!
In my opinion, the media is the most important thing.
The icon exhibition in Madrid went through all the newspapers.
Such a furor.
Now we're about to do the same in Japan.
What happened with your idea?
You were preparing something in London, weren't you?
I heard that even the Queen is going to attend it.
We're working on it. Excuse me, please.
Just between us, she's been rejected.
That's terrible.
Yes?
Liar.
What do you think? You're untouchable now?
When are you going to stop playing games with me?
You're worthless like the others.
How dumb I was to believe you.
Divorina, calm down. We've got positive answer. - What?
I have hired a PR agency with highest level contacts.
She will come? When?
We're now arranging the date but it's not going to be cheap.
Screw that.
It can be as expensive as it has to be.
Excuse me.
Can I have a strawberry sourve?
Thank you.
I think that...
I'll have to go to London soon.
Well done. - Great.
Objectively speaking ... what is the difference?
Why not just do it?
Ultimately, most important is the desire of the client.
That is a living orgasm and you look at it.
Do you realize how many countries there in the world
with all their stupid politicians suffering from the same complex?
This is a goldmine!
Is not it a bit risky?
Who will complain? It is in their interest to razchuva.
But the wide publicity they want.
Her Majesty hates cheap publicity.
This will be an informal event personal - intimate contact.
Chief, nadarvih be.
And, of course, much more expensive.
Will present only the selected audience. Cream of the elite.
You'll choose from heraldic code.
Absolute shit!
1, 2, 3, 4...
Hey, Ivan!
Why are you dangling that pike, for fuck's sake?!
You're ancient Bulgarian warriors.
You've just cut Nikifor's head off.
Again.
1, 2, 3, 4...
Keep up the pike, Ivan!
What the hell are you doing?
Stop!
Our Patron, Mrs. Selianska
is here to see us.
I'm here to inform you...
We're going to London. Everything is arranged.
You're going to dance in front of an audience you've only dreamed of.
What? She'll come?
Yes.
- It's confirmed. - Great.
By the way, I'm holding talks with a potential presenter. Know who?
Who? - Chavdar Tulumanov. The Bulgarian De Niro.
He's in London, as you know.
He's a big celebrity. Is he going to accept?
Well, Chavo is a star, but we used to live together.
Not to mention that the Queen will attend it.
It's absolutely sure. But this isn't everything.
It is going to be spectacular this time.
I've introduced some new elements.
World-class scenography.
No lifestyle decoration at all. Just fire. Real explosion!
By the way... Let me introduce you to our artist. Kalki.
He's also known as "dancing with the fire".
Kalkin. Designer.
Designer.
Fire designer.
I'm more popular abroad. This is my last installation.
"Ibiza by night."
Just imagine it. Ibiza island... Prometey, blasting fire from his heart,
to proclaim the beginning of a new era.
The era of the flaming Aquarius.
A true fairy-scene of fire and water.
Ragrade One. Fire World magazine.
- Really interesting. - You'll see.
We'll show damn England how we do it.
Well done.
Again!
You're not taking this?
Take it, if it suits you. Have you seen a folder here?
- What are you doing at work exactly? - PR.
- So you got someone, huh? - Maybe.
English?
Are you sure you haven't seen any folder here?
What folder? I'm not going through your stuff.
I must have left it in the agency.
You want me to tell the Embassador something, huh?
Bye!
Thanks for helping me.
No problem. I did not know you live in Kenzingtan.
Why the trunk? - Because it's hole.
I am a princess.
I don't need your rubbish.
HUNTER AND PRINCESS Scenario Thomas Munro
These chips are. No doubt, Inspector.
And why are swans in Hyde Park?
Apparently they had eaten them.
Monsters with beaks? Do not talk nonsense.
I mean, I ate chips ducks with no chips.
How they do it, bastards?
Are competent but do not see logic of their actions.
Maybe a demo? - Front for the Liberation of Animals.
We have not found a single chip.
Perhaps they are not. May has stopped working.
I'm not really sure that Serbians like ducks, but...
We need to bag the money. I don't care about the rest.
To be honest, Chinese were the best option.
Well...
Even though I know one Serbian who eats ducks.
It's Dragan, isn't he? - You've been there too?
If it was pork, it'd have been better.
What are we going to do with ducks? They cannot be used for pljeskavica.
It doesn't work.
Ducks are not in our mentalitet.
Fuck. You always screw up. Monkey!
Stay cool.
Rest in peace, Duck.
Good day.
I'm sorry, Mr. Embassador. I'm almost finished.
Sorry but it was a big mess here.
Isn't this your colleague's area?
You want only her in charge for your cabinet?
Yes, I do...
I do want to be clean.
Because she's not living here anymore. She moved out.
How come she moved out?
She wasn't supposed to be here.
Why? - Well, she quit university last year.
She shouldn’t have been allowed to work here, but
the secretary decided to leave her.
Look, I'm not interested in gossips.
Well, I'm just warning you.
Katia's doing something very suspicious...
I think it's porn movies.
Have a look.
The boxes have arrived. - What boxes?
Major Ullaf's boxes, from Humanitarian Affairs.
Seventy seven boxes have just arrived.
What is in them?
- I don't know. - Then who knows?
I don't know. I'll check them now.
I'm done.
"Hunter and Princess.
Script: Thomas Munro.
Want to play a game, princess?
Every time you hit the dish,
you will download in one coat.
What hot afternoon,
but you also incur.
I would love, my brave hunter
but I can not.
convoy just arrived refugee camp
and I have to ... instruct.
One paparazzi, two paparazzi, three paparazzi, four paparazzi!
There will be failures my first wedding night!
Habibi, I fear, that the Queen will not approve our marriage.
Not again!
We did it seven times already!
They take you away from this horrible world!
It will haunt us until death.
Last! I want to kill some more paparazzi!
I am completely exhausted!
It is not easy to dress up.
With the bullshit that make me do.
Munro overdone idiot that this time!
Only a sick mind can thus make fun of Diana.
Why do you do then? - Cleaning of offices is not more enjoyable.
Here, at least pay well. - You will get rich from this sorry business?
What do you suggest to you oberem Bank?
Smart girl. I can offer something which will solve all our problems.
I'm talking about cool packs, sister.
Would you rather trimmest Christmas tree?
Just drive me home.
Human emotions are like earthquakes -
can be arranged on a scale from 1 to 100,
depending on their intensity.
Each time the number decreased.
So, up to zero.
"Famous Kanekshans, please wait.
What do you think you are doing, Banicharov?
What?
We've again got duck for dinner today.
We'll eat it. We've got to use them for something.
That's nonsense. It's an expensive food.
We shouldn't waste it like that. You must sell it.
- Chavo is dealing with this. - Get rid of this scum!
Hey, Nory...
How about giving me a Big Ben?
I can't. I have a headache.
How do you see this thing?
New costumes, special effects, pyrotechnics...
Your show has cost me almost as half of my campaign!
Excuse me? I want to remind you that my reception
is to be honored by her majesty the Queen of Britain.
It's a once in your life event.
Perhaps I'd better come with you in London, huh?
You've nothing to do there!
It is my initiative.
Wanker! Who is excited by such things?
This role is, ridiculous I already play it in real life.
You're doing quite good with the vacuum cleaner, your Majesty.
You must have been successful
in dancing round a pylon as well, I guess.
It seems that...
Playing the student role...
Isn't your best performance.
Oh, so...
It looks like Mr. Embassador hired a princess.
- I'm not a client. - Really?
It must be one of your professional responsibilities.
Look, love...
It's not about your pretty bum.
Then what is it about?
Don't pretend to be stupid.
Someone is trying to scam me.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Let's stick to the script.
You're part of it.
Is that what you think?
Jin with two ice cubes and lemon.
I shout.
Very nice, beautiful ...
I told you already, I'm old for flirting.
Where are you taking me? What are you doing? Please!
Approaching Romanian National Day.
Do you have ideas on how to obtain with an invitation to accept them?
That you would let me work off?
Who is this guy? What happened? - Calm down, Helen!
Your Excellency, You do not think of yourself.
I'm not! Lied to me, you scoundrel!
Would it took the lady, Thomas. It has nothing to do with it.
Immediately bring it in kind!
I think whiskey will come good.
I insist once return my money!
I do not know what I mean. Queen wanted and have it.
I true! - This is absurd!
I'm not assuming that you expect bring you the real Elizabeth.
Your Excellency, calm down.
Sit down, calm down.
I thought you know with the essence of our business.
"Famous Kanekshans" provide counterparts.
I think I know. However, you alone we have sought.
I am sure you will love the show.
There will be no show!
Terminate contracts at the last minute after investing so much?
Will not pay for this masquerade!
Whatever you decide, We owe a penalty under the contract.
Courage, Your Excellency.
Nothing is lost.
Think about your career. The concert is in two weeks.
How do you expect the Queen to come?
The first lady will be very angry if the event fails.
Especially when you understand who is responsible for the failure.
We're just contractors.
But we can help you
to help and exit from this situation.
By cheating? - Decision.
The only possible a man in your position.
You are the devil himself!
A little whiskey?
For me - gin.
What's up with the press? Why there's no one here?
This was a special requirement from the palace.
We can't risk with that. - Not even a column in an article?
No. Otherwise, our agreement will be terminated.
Her Majesty is trying to avoid cheap publicity.
I hate cheap publicity too. I hate it.
- I know. - I'm very nervous.
- I want everything to be perfect. - I know.
- Even the slightest detail. - I know.
People always miss something.
Oh, of course!
- Menu? - I don't know.
You don't know...
Fuck.
Banicharov speaking.
Who're you? Oh, yes.
Yes.
I'm coming.
Sandwiches?!
You're going to serve her Majesty sandwiches?!
This is an absurd, Varadin!
Why? This country has some sacred
standards regarding sandwiches.
Come in.
You wanted to discuss the menu with me.
Fish, maybe.
At the Dutch Queen's reception they served
sea-cat's tail with orange sauce.
And a starter of oysters.
What does the Queen like?
Did anyone bother to find out what the Queen likes? Huh?
Maybe just some traditional Bulgarian dish.
Like carp dish. - Carp dish?
Don't make me laugh,... What was your name?
Banicharov.
Banicharov!
These people are aristocrats.
What about game?
The Queen likes hunting.
So it makes sense. She must love game.
Ducks!
Wild ducks.
With blueberry sauce, fruits and seed onions.
I'll make it incredible!
These ducks are not kosher.
So you will not get them? - I will take them. But at another price.
How?
But I have to admit that they aren't really cheap.
They're a bit expensive.
You see...
Everything is possible.
What you need is enthusiasm and professionalism.
... And some money.
Yeah. And some money.
This is a gift from me for the entire Jewish people.
I told you that they are not kosher.
1, 2, 3, 4...
Stop!
Hey, cous.
You bastard. You're alive! Long time no see, huh?
I'm glad you made it.
I know that you're busy.
But I knew you wouldn't miss it.
What do you think about the role?
Well, a "role" is too strong word but... Take it as a favor.
How are you doing? Working? What are you up to at the moment?
I'm just relaxing.
I stay at home. My agent is bringing some scripts to me to read.
You're a boss, huh?
You see? Huh?
Who's the fool now? Huh?
They'll get them for £50 each.
You've finally made something properly.
But I'll tell Chavo I sold them for £20... No, £15...
You ain't telling him nothing.
The freezer was out of order, ducks are gone. That's it.
That's good!
How did you enter in here?
Hello, Pasty. - Hey, Chavo.
I have some great news.
Delicious gherkins. Delicious!
Come with me. I'll make you an offer.
We have work to do, Kostadin.
I sold the ducks, man.
Um, no.
So... some Jews got them.
£10 each.
That's fine but...
Something bad happened.
What happened?
They're fucked.
The freezer was out of order and...
- How come it was out of order?! - Well... I don't know.
I'll go. Nory is waiting for me.
What are these things?
Calm down, man. The situation is under control.
These are the effects for the show. And you are?
Who gave you permission to start a fire in the embassy?
Did you say "fire", man?
This is fire design.
Fire blasters!
Skydivers.
Do you know what Mrs. Selianska said?
Everything multiplied by two.
Because... You shouldn't be frugal of arts, man.
Punchev!
Let's check the fire alarm.
Kate, I'm afraid it is necessary to set you free.
I warned you to stay away from these people.
I'll give you new roles.
Any my problem is your problem.
Baron Mitovski ...
Baron and Baroness Remulod ...
Countess Fernandez ...
Life sucks, babe.
Your Majesty, ladies and gentlemen ...
I can not do it. Where goes the world?
Masturbating to that level.
Tonight you will unique opportunity
to see eternal values
the Bulgarian genius.
To grind the cane itself is one but when it does a whole country ...
Geez!
We fulfill the wishes customers' do not comment.
Be professional!
Ladies ... Gentlemen ...
On the eve we
unique super.
We have not done such a thing.
Your Majesty!
Our customers expect maximum authenticity.
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Her Majesty Elizabeth II.
And we will give it to them!
I told you we are professionals.
Will decorate tree and will be eternal Christmas.
My princess! Get in!
Majesty
Ladies and Gentlemen,
great honor to welcome you ...
We weren't allowed to enter even as spectators.
They're ashamed of us.
We're only useful for hanging coats.
Tonight will have a unique opportunity
To view the eternal values the Bulgarian genius.
Come on. Faster. You're slow.
... That we all
belong to the same ...
cultural homeland ...
called ...
Europe.
Madame Selyanska,
your noble cause I wept.
Translate.
This event a valuable contribution
for ecological balance of our continent.
This event is a valuable contribution to
the political balance of our continent.
Brown bears are our friends.
Therefore, Friends Brown bears are our friends.
The friends are our friends, hence friends of our friends...
Snobs.
Let's go to eat.
Okay.
Honey, you have an excellent chef.
Queen and her husband will visit several villages here ...
Wait a minute!
She's here, isn't she?
Fuck. What's happening here?!
They're using look-alike models.
Like Yeltsin, Brezhnev, Saddam Hussein...
What did you think? English are not fools.
It's called national security.
The signal is just like the previous ones. No doubt this is the chip number 9.
Why turn now? - I do not know.
May be the result by mechanical action
temperature change magnetic field.
Where are my ducklings?
This is just one chip Now locate it.
So they sent us a look-alike?
Nah...
They must be crazy to send the real one to these monkeys.
We're the same.
Come on, fellas. Dinner time!
Come on!
Come ...
Come on, lady!
Come on, my princess!
My precious!
Just in your style.
Call of the Wild?
This is a ritual dance of genetics.
Very impressive.
Narrowing perimeter, sir.
This time we'll catch them, right? - No me premetnat second time.
Now let our pants. - This is not a script.
I'll give fuchsia. - No!
Diamonds are best friend of girls.
This is a tribal battle.
I am a humble monk sacred mountain of Mount Athos.
My name is Paisii.
I wrote this story for the great Bulgarian past.
Let us know that we have had great rulers and patriots.
I'll give you a necklace ...
Do not move! Moral Police!
This is just a game! Only theater!
Dirty pervert!
Anyone who dare to break boundaries of the new state
will be severely punished!
Krum Scary
drink from the skull Emperor Nikephoros.
Byzantine nasty bastard!
Why break our contract?
Now you will feel the power of my anger!
Why delay? He looked at us?
Calm down, sister! See - we are already rich.
What are you doing? Untie me!
Look at this! - Untie me!
Boom! I gave everything.
You know who we are? We are the new Bonnie and Clyde!
Kenzingtan, sir! The building of the Bulgarian Embassy.
He has cried dartak police!
Relax, I'll be fine. Behave naturally!
Go, go! - That I do!
Will not you get?
This is foreign territory, can not intrude!
The freezer was out of order, huh?
Disgraceful rat!
You scruffy Bulgarian!
Bulgarians are what I hate most in the world.
Do you hear me?
I hate them too.
I need gin!
What happens there?
Fucking hell.
Your Majesty!
Here they are!
I think it should be free.
Sorry, Desmond, I was there.
What are you talking about?
Kate, do not be ...
Come on, Kate! Behaving as a coward!
If you want to spend your life in the gutter, going, not my ass!
So much hard work...
Everything was for nothing.
You wanted to invite the media.
I'll apologize to Her.
I'll write a formal letter.
So what are you going to write?
Sorry... Your Majesty about
not burning you.
Don't talk like that, Varadin.
I hope no information gets leaked.
Journalists always smell scandals.
Varadin?
What does this mean?
Using digital therapy,
negative emotions can be controlled and neutralized.
Nothing can disturb your balance.
The door to chaos is closed.
The Queen in Africa? Absurd!
They gave them some scarecrow.
Tato used look-alike models too.
Woman with hat is your duck, Dale.
Barbarians!
Arrest in immediately!
Okay, sir.
In a world dominated by politicians truth can not triumph.
She was the wife of the Bulgarian president.
The operation is terminated.
Vikil is a complete crock.
He'll never be able to find any sponsors again.
Vikil...
What about the pyroman?
Who brought them here?
Let's go.
One!
We can attack the world!
Varadin stopped listening to Selianska.
She was just an annoying echo of her time.
In few years she would be
ONE YEAR LATER
gone and forgotten.
In big cities, the probability of
meeting someone who you want to see
usually equals to one divided by the population.
But even if you happen to be at the same place at the same time,
the probability of not seeing each other is at least 99%.
But even if you see each other, there's no guarantee
that something will come out of it.
TWO YEARS LATER
Imitation. Nickel and zirconium.
This is the royal collection. No cheating.
Fifteen hundred. - Nonsense! It is worth 1500!
These are a lot of money. People in Africa living on one dollar a day.
Well, get, drag!
THREE YEARS LATER
Thomas is already a high ball!
Bulgarian are.